Story: Two Countries, Two Classrooms

Classroom 1: Mathematics

Teacher: We learnt about triangles in the last class. We’re going to learn about right angled triangles today. If one of the angles in the triangles is 90 degrees, the triangle gets some special properties. The side opposite the right angle is called the hypotenuse. The hypotenuse is always the longest side of the right angled triangle. There was a guy called Pythagoras. He came up with a formula. If you measure… 

Rahul: Why does the hypotenuse the longest? Why can’t it be the same size as the other sides?

Teacher: If all sides were the same, the triangle would become an equilateral one. We’ll learn about equilateral triangles in the next … 

Rahul: Why can’t all triangles be equilateral ones? 

Teacher: As you will see, right angle triangles have useful properties. 

Rahul: If I win the student union elections, I will conduct an X-rays of all properties, take some length from whatsitcalled - the hypotenuse. And give it to the shorter sides. (After talking in whispers to the boy next to him): Sam here tells me I should take away 55% from whatsitcalled. 

Teacher (amused): Won’t that make the hypotenuse smaller than the other sides? What about the difference in angles? 

Rahul: Then I will take some length or angle from those sides. It’s a continuous process. 

Teacher: This doesn’t make any sense. Can you listen now? I can answer your questions after the class. 

Rahul: I’m busy after class. I’m making a new story for the English class - The ant and the grasshopper. You know, the ant works hard all summer building up storage of food. The grasshopper sings all summer, doing no work. The winter comes and the ant … 

Teacher: ‘..tells the grasshopper, ‘you sang during the summer, go dance now?’ I know that story! 

Rahul: Not in my version. The lion king comes, takes the ant’s food store and redistributes it to the grasshopper. 

Teacher: That doesn’t sound fair. But this is not relevant for what we’re discussing here. Can you please stop distracting us? 

Rahul: I’m not going to stop. I’m a high school student, not some nachnewali like Aishwarya Rai. 

Teacher (raising her voice):  Rahul, I have a lesson to teach. Can you please not disrupt the class? 

Rahul: The class is a union of people. If you want to teach something, you come to me and say, ‘this is what I want to teach’. I say, ‘this is what I want to learn’. We discuss and come to an understanding. 

Teacher: That’s not how it works Rahul. 

Rahul walks out of the class, taking his friends with him, and blowing the teacher a flying kiss.

Classroom 2: Theater and Performing Arts

The professor: As you know, in your culminating project, you have to make a short film. We’ll review your scripts before you start the rehearsals and filming. We will review the plans of Team A: Justin, Jagmeet and Chrystia. Justin, you go first. Do you have your script ready? What are you making?

Justin: Hello Prof! We’re making a short James Bond film.

Prof: How long is your film?

Justin: Fifteen minutes, give or take an hour.

Prof: Such a wide range! But I’m sure you have a good reason for the wide range. Can you explain your reasoning?

Justin: The length of the film is not important. Covid has made planning difficult. Students are starved for good entertainment. They won’t mind the extra time.

Prof: Covid was two years ago. Actually, the department is paying for it. They have a strict limit. Your budget is $3000. What is your estimate?

Justin: Actually, my teammate, Chrystia is in charge of production. She will give you the numbers.

Chrystia: Our estimate is $23,500.

Prof: That’s a significant overrun! What are your plans to cover the gap?

Chrystia: I plan to owe you the rest of the money.

Prof: That’s not a plan! And I doubt the university will accept any overruns. You don’t have time to replay - you’re expected to graduate in a few months. Provided you pass, of course. Ok, let’s leave that aside. Tell me the story.

Justin: My story happens during the cold war. A Canadian spy has gone rogue, and is threatening to blow up an airbase with a missile launched out of Russia. James Bond goes after him.

Jagmeet (interrupting): If he made a threat, I’m sure he had a good reason.

Prof: Can you please not interrupt Jagmeet? Justin, you were saying?

Justin: The spy is hiding in Russia, plotting his mission. James Bond finds him and talks to him.

Prof: But Bond is licensed to kill. Can’t he do something … more impactful than just  talking?

Justin: No, he can’t. In the first scene, the prime minister talks to him and reiterates the importance of the rule of law and the international rules-based order. 

Jagmeet: And to put pressure on Russia, his friends in Canada drive around with bumper stickers, saying ‘No airbase, no transport!’

Chrystia: All those friends should be Ukranians. Actually, all the good guys in the films are Ukranians.

Jagmeet: And all the bad guys are grocery store bosses. 

Justin: That’s not what we talked about!

Jagmeet: We didn’t talk about this, but I never bought into the plot. Your story is terrible. Boo!

Prof: If you didn’t like the plot, why did you choose to join this team?

Jagmeet: I’m always for the hard-working students. They want me to hold this team accountable. 

Prof: But you’re all individually marked on this. Are you planning on doing anything?

Jagmeet: Yes, there was a genocide a few decades ago, in another part of the world. I’m raising awareness. 

Prof: I was asking what you’re doing in this short film project.

Jagmeet: Yes, I’m raising awareness. 

Prof (sighing): Let’s leave that aside. How does the story end?

Justin: That’s the best part. The scientist who designed the missile is the bad guy’s girlfriend. She has a crush on Bond. She offers to redirect the missile to an unpopulated area if Bond accepts her indecent proposal.

Prof: Oh, we’re pivoting to the romance theme! How interesting!

Justin: No, wait. Now comes the best part. Bond self identifies as a woman and declines her proposal.

The professor faints.