Arangayanam (Tamil documentary) - a mini review



Arangayanam is a documentary in Tamil (with English subtitles) made by Sri. Bombay Kannan. I was able to watch the movie alongside an appreciative audience in Toronto. I’ve read the fictionalized version of this episode in Srivenugopalan’s novel, Thiruvarangan Ula. This documentary reinforced my awe of the characters of this episode in history.


It’s about the deity of Sri Ranganatha, and the efforts of a few dozen brave souls to protect the deity from the marauding armies of Ulugh Khan (who would later ascend the throne of the Delhi Sultanate under the name Mohammed bin Tughlaq) . 


The year was 1323 C.E. When the armies attacked, the people of Srirangam and the visiting devotees were celebrating Panguni Uthiram outside the temple’s walls, with festivities honoring the Ustava deity named Azhagiya Manvalar (translation: the handsome groom). While they did hear of the Ulugh Khan’s army’s approach, they underestimated the peril and decided to keep the famous all-gold deity and the jewels in place. 


When the armies reach the Kollidam river, the Vaishnav Acharyas and the temple administrators make an emergency decision to smuggle the deity away, while the rest of the crowd remains blissfully unaware of the deity’s departure. Ulugh Khan reaches the venue, is enraged at not being able to find the famed idol and the jewels, orders the whole crowd, numbering 12,000, to be slaughtered. 


Pillai Lokacharya, the 118 year old acharya, leads a team of 52 people, including priests, palanquin bearers and guards, takes the idol away, On his deathbed, the acharya orders his followers to resume the prayers due to the deity and hide it in safe locations, until a return to Srirangam is deemed safe. 


It would seem like a hopeless task to safely carry the deity undetected by the enemy forces.  The rest of the story describes how the survivors carry the deity to various locations such as the suburbs of Madurai, Kallikandi (near Kozhikode), Melukote in present day Karnataka, and Tiurpathi, overcoming many hardships, until the Vijayanagara forces  succeed in liberating Srirangam. 


It's a touching story of raw courage, spanning 48 years of nomadic life for Perumal and His devotees. 


Since there are only two narrators, it could have become monotonous. To alleviate the risk, the documentary mixes a few anecdotes, verbal narration, colorful sketches, visuals of the Sirangam temple, and videos of the various camping locations. The use of nadaswaram and pasuram recitals gives the viewer an authentic taste of the rituals. 


The movie does a great job of describing the affection people feel for Lord Ranganatha and that being the motivation behind them guarding the deity by putting their lives on the line. The raw devotion and loyalty to the acharya induce goosebumps. Likewise, the movie describes how a few poorly equipped guards managed to keep a well trained military force from entering the Srirangam temple, however hopeless the task was to be. In the same vein, a devadasi sacrifices herself and lures an enemy general towards his death.


Finally, the documentary team deserves kudos for daring to tell this tale at all. It’s a dark part of history. While it’s hard to question the authenticity of this story, it's not a comfortable topic. People hesitate to talk about it for fear of being labeled Islamophobes. It’s not easy to narrate this story in an authentic fashion, and at the same time, avoid coming across as blaming a whole community for the acts of a tyrannical force. I believe the movie walks the fine line really well.

The movie is not without its flaws. There is some redundancy between the two narrators. Some editing could have fixed that issue. In many places, I would have appreciated a map to trace the path of the perilous journey. While there were visuals of all the locations mentioned above, most locations are filmed from a single spot. A walk around the temples mentioned as the narration is in progress would have made the locations feel more real. 


A highly recommended watch. The maker, Bombay Kannan, is making the video available in USB media on request.


Click here for a trailer of the movie.


 

Tamil Poem: வசுதேவனின் பயணம்

Vasudeva's journey


பிறைமதி தூங்கும் நடுநிசி நேரம்  

மழையில் குளித்த மரங்களில் ஈரம்; 

காரினும் இருண்டக் கானகப் பாதை, 

கடக்கும் கோமகன் ஒருவனின் காதை.


கண்களில் கிறக்கம், சொல்லொணாக் கலக்கம் 

காதங்கள் கடந்த கால்களில் நடுக்கம்; 

கட்டிய ஆடைகள் மடிப்பினுள் மயங்கி 

கண்துயி லும்ஓர் கார்நிறக் குழந்தை.


'இறைவனே இந்த இரவின் பயணம் 

இன்பயன் தருமோ, விடியலின் வெண்கதிர்  

இச்சேய் காணுமோ இனிதே வாழுமோ?

ஈரமில் இதயத்து மைத்துனன் கோபம் 


தணியுமோ இவ்வுயிர் தரிக்குமோ' என்று 

கனிந்தான்,கரைந்தான், சோர்வில் அமர்ந்தான்.

கால்கள் துவண்டன, கண்களும் மூடின.

கண்ணயர் நேரம் காதுகள் விழித்தன.  


'கானக  ஓசைகள் நடுவே கேட்பது 

கம்சனின் சேனையோ, ஒற்றனோ, மற்றனோ, 

கள்வர் கூட்டமோ, கானக மாந்தரோ,

கற்பனையோ இந்தக் காலடிச் சத்தம்?’


ஐயத்தில் அம்மகன் அச்சுறு நேரம்

அவ்வழி வந்தான் அருள்தரும் மாமுனி. 

செவ்வழி செய்யும் நாரணன் நாமம் 

வாய்வழி ஓதியே, வீணையை மீட்டியே,


நால்திசை நடந்து நல்லிசை பயின்ற

நாரத முனிவன், நாரணன் அடியன், 

நன்மகன் நலக்க வாழ்த்துகள் சொன்னான்.

கோமகன் அவனும் முனிவனை வணங்கி 


தன்நிலை விளக்கி தவிப்பினைச் சொன்னான்:

“என்மகன் வாழ என்குலம் தளிர்க்க 

நன்வழி தாரீர், நல்லுரை சொல்வீர்!

நண்பனின் அகத்தில் தோன்றிய பெண்ணை 


என்மகள் என்று கொண்டால் அச்சிசு  

விண்ணகம் ஏகுமோ, என்வினை மீறுமோ?  

புன்செயல் செய்யும் கொலைவாள் கொதித்து

அன்னத் தாருயிர் மாய்க்குமோ, சாய்க்குமோ?


வேறிடம் போகும் என்மகன் வாழ்க்கை 

மாறினும் நன்றே! ஆயினும் அவனைக் 

காரிருள் ஒத்த நெஞ்சுடைக் கம்சனின் 

பேரிடர் அச்சம் துரத்திக் கொல்லுமோ?”


நன்னகை பூத்து நாரதன் சொல்வான் 

“நடப்ப தெல்லாம் நாரணன் செயலாம். 

நந்த கோபனின் நன்மகள் விசனம் 

சிந்தையில் நீக்கு, இறைவழி நோக்கு.


அந்த நன்மகள் தனிப்படச் சென்றே 

அந்தகன் பிடியைத் தன்வழித் தவிர்ப்பாள். 

உந்தன் செல்வனும் மாமனின் சூதுகள்  

எந்த நாளும் வென்றிட வையான்.  


உம்மகன் வளர நானிலம் செழிக்கும், 

செம்மைகள் செறிந்தே  கோகுலம் களிக்கும்,  

இம்மையின் கடமைகள் தர்மங்கள் தெளியவே  

இம்மகன் சொல்வான் வேதத்தின் சாரம். 


மானுடர் வழிபடத் தத்துவம் சொல்வான், 

மன்னவர் நெறிபடத்  தூதுகள் செல்வான், 

மணிமுடி வேண்டான் ஆயினும் ஆள்வான், 

மண்மகள் பாரம் தீர்ந்திடச் செய்வான். 


கோபிகள் களிக்க நர்த்தனம் செய்வான் 

பாபிகள் மீளவும் பரிவுரை சொல்வான் 

துருபதன் குடியின் மானமும் காப்பான் 

துவாபர யுகத்தினைக் கலியுடன்  சேர்ப்பான்.


மழைமே கங்கள் மறைத்த கதிர்போல் 

மதியிலார் ஆட்சி மாநகர் கொண்டது. 

மதுரா மாநகர் மீட்டிட வருவான்  

மாமதக் களிறாய் மாதவ மைந்தன்.”


வணங்கியே வசு தேவனும் எழுந்தான். 

வழியினில் தொடர்த்து வல்நடை சென்றான். 

வானவன் கானம் காதினில் கேட்டது. 

வலிமை பல்வழி மனதில் மூண்டது.  


கார்நிறக் குழந்தை கண்களைத் திறந்தது; 

கனவினின் எதிரொலி போலது சிரித்தது. 

கானகம் ஒளிர்ந்தது, காற்றும் சிலிர்த்தது.  

காசினி உய்ந்திடப்  பாதையும் பிறந்தது!! 


© #ஆனந்தக்கவிராயர் 

Tamil Skit: 8 லிருந்து 80 வரை

 

Rajini and Joe Biden



ரஜினிகாந்தும் கே எஸ் ரவிக்குமாரும் ஒரு சொகுசு ஓட்டலில் டிபன் சாப்பிட்டுக்கொண்டே பேசுகிறார்கள்.

ரஜினி: "சாமி, எனக்கு எதோ ஒரு பயோபிக் ரோல் வெச்சுருக்கீங்கன்னு சொன்னாங்க."


ரவிக்குமார்: "ஜோ பைடனோட கதை பண்றோம். நீங்கதான் பைடன்."


"நான் எதுக்கு சாமி, வேற யாரையாவது போடலாமே?"


"உடம்பு சரியில்லைன்னு ஜகா வாங்கறத உங்கள விட யார் சார் நல்லா பண்ணமுடியும்?"


(சந்தேகத்துடன்): "என்ன வச்சு காமெடி கீமெடி பண்ணலியே?"


"சேச்சே! வெள்ளைகாரங்க ரோல் உங்களுக்கு புதுசில்ல. நீங்க “ஒரு கூடை sunlight ஒரு கூடை moonlight” கூட பண்ணீங்களே?" 


"இல்ல, அது அந்த சங்கர் சாமி வேலை! எனக்கு எப்பவுமே வெள்ள  பெயிண்ட் அடிச்சுட்டு நடிச்சா ஏதும் சொல்லுவாங்கன்னு ஒரு பயம்"


"அதெல்லாம் இல்லீங்க. 'என் பிரதர் ஜஸ்டின் ட்ருடோ சொல்லிக் குடுத்தாரு'ன்னு சொல்லுங்க!"


"அப்ப வயசான ரோல்தானா? என்ன இருந்தாலும் என் ரசிகர்கள் ஒத்துப்பாங்களான்னு கொஞ்சம் தயக்கம்! வேற ஏதாவது கதை வெச்சிருக்கீங்களா சாமி?"


"'இந்தியன் - 1/2' ன்னு ஒரு கதை. கமலா ஹாரிஸ்ஸோட பயோபிக். ஆனா பேரைக்கேட்டவுடன் கமல் நான் தான் பண்ணுவேன்னு பிடிவாதம் பிடிச்சார். கமலா மாதிரி மேக்கப் எல்லாம் போட்டுக்கிட்டு பஸ் புடிச்சு வீட்டுக்கு வந்துட்டார். தர்ம சங்கடமா போச்சு. அதுலேர்ந்து மாத்தின கதை தான் இது."


ரஜினி இன்னும் தயங்குகிறார்.


"இந்த படத்துல வேணும்னா டபுள் ரோல் ஆக்கிடலாம். நீங்க பைடன் வேஷமும் போடறீங்க, பையன் வேஷமும் போடறீங்க. பையனுக்கு ஒரு டான்ஸ். 'ஆசை நூறுவரை வாழ்வின் நூறு சுவை வா!'"


"அந்தப் பையன் ஜெயிலுக்கு போனாருல்ல?"


"ஆமாம், அந்த இடத்துல "உலக வாழ்க்கையே ஒரு ஜெயிலு வாழ்க்கைதான்! அதுல உலவும் பேரெல்லாம் ஒரு கைதி போலத்தான்" அப்படின்னு ஒரு தத்துவப்பாட்டு!"


"கொஞ்சம் பஞ்ச் டயலாக் வேணுமே?"


"ஒங்க பழைய டயலாக் சிலதை எடுத்து பைடனுக்கு ஏத்த மாதிரி மாத்திடலாம்.


'நான் எப்ப போவேன், எப்படி போவேன்னு யாருக்கும் தெரியாது. ஆனா, கழுத்தைப்  புடிச்சு தள்றவரைக்கும் போகமாட்டேன்!'


'நான் ஒரு தடவை சொன்னா ... நூறு தடவை கேட்டாலும் புரியாது!'


'என் வழி தனி வழி. அப்புறம் என் பொண்டாட்டி வந்து மேடையிலிருந்து இறக்கி கூட்டிட்டு போவா!' "


"அந்த கடைசி டயலாக் வேண்டாமே! கொஞ்சம் வயசானவங்கள கிண்டல் பண்ற மாதிரி இருக்கு!"


"அந்த டயலாக் இல்லாட்டி ஹீரோயின் நடிக்க மாட்டேன்னு சொல்றாங்க. அவங்கதான் ஜில் பைடன் வேஷம் பண்ணனும்!"


"யாரு  ஹீரோயின்?"


"ஏமி ஜாக்சன்."


"அப்படின்னா சரி. வச்சுக்குங்க! யாரு மியூசிக்?"


"நம்ம அனிருத் ப்ரோ!"


"அந்தப் புள்ளாண்டான் மட்டும் வேணாமே! பாட்டு நல்லால்லன்னு சொன்னா வீட்டுல தகராறு வரும். ரீ-ரெகார்டிங் வேற ஒரு தொல்லை - போன படம் பிரிவியூ பாத்துட்டு ஒரு வாரம் காது கேக்கலே!"


"சரி விடுங்க. நான் ரஹ்மானை வச்சு அட்ஜஸ்ட் பண்ணிக்கறேன்!"


"வில்லன் யாரு?"


"வில்லன் இல்ல, வில்லி. நம்ம கமலா ரோல்க்கு ரம்யா கிருஷ்ணன் வராங்க. அவங்க முதல்ல வெள்ளை மாளிகைலேர்ந்து உங்கள தொரத்திட்டு அப்புறம்  , 'வயசானாலும், உன், ஸ்டைலும் அழகும் உன்னை விட்டு போகலை" அப்படின்னு பேசறாங்க! நீங்க "விடுகதையா இந்த வாழ்க்கை?" ன்னு பாடிக்கிட்டு மெதுவா நடந்து போறீங்க." 


"அட, இது நல்லாருக்கே! செண்டிமெண்ட்! செண்டிமெண்ட்! அது சரி, நீங்க உங்க எல்லா படத்துலயும் தலையைக் காட்டுவீங்களே, இதுல?"


"நானு டிரம்ப் வேஷத்துல வரேன். நானும் நீங்களும் கோல்ப் ஆட்டிக்கிட்டே "என்னம்மா கண்ணு சவுக்யமா" அப்படின்னு ஒரு டூயட்."


ரஜினி இன்னும் தயக்கத்துடன், "சரி, நீங்க சொல்றீங்களேன்னு பண்றேன். ஆனா ஒரு கண்டிஷன்".


"என்ன சார்?"


"என் பொண்ணு என் அடுத்த படத்துல அனிமேஷன் டைரக்டர் ரோல் வேணும்ன்னு பிடிவாதம் பிடிக்கிறா. அவளுக்காக ரெண்டு அனிமேஷன் பாட்டு சீன்".


(தயக்கத்துடன்). "சரி சார், யோசிச்சுட்டு சொல்றேன். நான் கிளம்பனும்."


"இருங்க சாமி, ஒரு கதை சொல்றேன். ஒரு தவளை ஒரு சாமியாரைப் பார்க்கப் போச்சாம்."


"இல்லை சார். ரொம்ப அர்ஜென்ட் . நான் கிளம்பணும். நாளைக்குப் பார்க்கலாம்!"


Pic credit: Wikimedia commons.


 

Episode 03: Summer Doldrums

This is the third part of a story. For the two earlier chapters, please see:


Vichu: 1981

It was the summer after Krishnan’s family moved away. It was memorable for the mind numbing boredom. With Krishnan leaving town, I had lost my closest friend. Actually scratch that. I’d lost my only friend. The cricket team had fallen apart after Ponnan and Alphonse went to study for various entrance tests.


Riverside temple


My afternoon routine was to while away the time at the riverside temple with only my solitude to talk to.  I’d sit at the root of the Peepal tree and dream up new projects for myself. There was one event at the end of the summer that was anything but boring. No, I’m getting ahead of myself. Wait. I’ll get to that story.

The temple was adjacent to a bridge that briefly got famous when it figured in a movie. The hero walked across the bridge in a song-sequence. The song turned out to be a major hit. Some of that fame rubbed off on the bridge.  After the interest generated by the movie died down, the bridge went back to being neglected by the crowds. That suited me fine. In the rainy months, young boys used to walk up the bridge to dive into the river in full flow. But the flood levels stayed high enough for such adventures only for about two months. 

In the long summer days, I used to sit near the peepal tree, and would watch the leaves being swept up by the wind, swish around, and stay afloat for a long time. I used to wonder if the energy that keeps the leaves up could somehow be harnessed and stored. My physics knowledge wasn’t good enough to know what to even ask the knowledgeable folks to get the answer. 

One of those afternoons, I drew a picture of a vehicle that had a battery that would be charged by the dynamo attached to its wheel to generate enough power to propel itself indefinitely. My seniors kept telling me why that was impossible. They were quite emphatic without being able to explain their answers, but I never gave up the dreams to generate “free” electricity. 

A project that I did carry out successfully was a crude gramophone record player. A few months before the summer, Manohar, a boy in my class, told me that he had seen a street performer play a manually powered record player. Manohar said the man put a LP gramophone record on a spindle, rotated the record with a finger in one hand, and held a crudely built “sound box” with the other hand. The contraption generated respectable sound. I begged Karimbhai in the bicycle repair shop for a suitably sized part from a bicycle to act as the spindle, raided my grandfather’s LP record collection to borrow a few records of someone called GNB, and set out to build my own record player. I took the plastic cap of a talcum powder jar, put a needle through it, added a coil made up of tin foil to convey the reverberations to a thin paper covering the mouth of the plastic cap. Unlike the street performer in Manohar’s description, I was not able to spin the record and hold the ‘speaker’ in place at the same time. My hand jerked and scratched the first disk very badly. I persuaded the young boy next door - who was called Nami for whatever reason -  to spin the wheel, while I held the base and held the needle in place. This worked better, but we still managed to occasionally scratch the records. But this produced the sound. Over time, we perfected our respective roles with Nami operating the turntable at the right speed, and me holding the sound box without the needle scratching the record much. The player started playing rich music.  Nami was much younger and seemed pleased that our player made sounds he’d only heard from a radio until that point. His role was just that of an assistant. He didn’t understand when I explained my plans to build more robust players and sell them for Rs. 25 each. He had no enterprise and was easily satisfied. That made me miss Krishnan even more.

In any case, it was a doomed business venture. Amma found that I had ‘borrowed’ grandpa’s records without permission, gave me a disappointed look, and a sermon highlighting how valuable the records were, and confiscated our body of work.

When I wasn’t dreaming up projects, I used to go for long walks along the sandy river. Returning home was not enticing. Vani was very grown up, and busy with her work to pay any attention to me. Amma was as much of a drama queen as ever, and would worry aloud about my future. I hardly saw my father. The few occasions I did, he used to drop hints as to how I could be helping him with our family business.

The family business was making and selling seeval, the shavings of the betelnut. At the factory, the workers would feed betel nuts into a machine  and something resembling pencil shavings would come out. They would package this up and sell it for money. I was always at a loss to understand why anyone would pay money for this. Seeval didn’t merely look like pencil shavings, but also tasted like it. People used to wrap it in Betel leaves and eat. Revolting stuff. But people's interest in the foul stuff kept money flowing into the family coffers. Appa used to tell me that we were not rich, but were very comfortable, without explaining the difference.

Despite my impression that the business was lucrative, I had no interest in participating in it. I tried sitting in Appa’s store and the factory. The work was boring. It mostly involved verifying the counts of the seeval packs going out, and making sure that the bags of betel nut delivered were weighed properly. I could not imagine doing this for the whole of my adult life. The only saving grace was the pleasant smell of rose water-infused ‘panneer’ tobacco coming from Nagu mama, the clerk. It made me want to taste the tobacco. Nagu mama told me in a confidential whisper that that would stunt my growth. ‘Look at all the dwarfs. How do you think they stopped growing?’, he’d ask with a grave expression. That put an end to my tobacco craving. After a few years, I realized that it was a well-meaning subterfuge to shield me from his vice. But his threat had been so effective that I never again wanted to try tobacco again.

My aversion to the seeval business reminded Vani of her favorite character in a novel - a guy whose family was in the fish business. He broke away from the family and placed an advertisement in the newspaper, with something like, ‘A talented young man wants a job. Any job as long as fish is not involved. Crime is not a problem. Do you want someone to drive your car? Walk your dog? Assassinate your aunt? I’m your man!’. Or words to that effect. She never told me if he ended up finding a job that way. Vani used to be busy reading and writing all the time. It seemed unfair to me that Appa would ask me to learn his business and leave her alone. 

Vaxxy seeking Krusty

In any case, Vani’s story of the fish-hater gave me an unrelated idea. I’d been missing Krishnan. It occurred to me that a newspaper advertisement could help me find him.

All I knew was that Krishnan’s family had moved to Madras. If I placed an advertisement in the daily newspaper, he might respond, and we could resume our friendship, at least through postcards or phone. Phone calls were expensive those days. I could get away with using the phone from Appa’s desk when no one was around. But incoming calls were a different matter. I’d also have to be in the shop to receive the messages. If I start picking up calls, it would raise questions, as everyone knew I didn’t like doing that.

Kareembhai ran a bicycle repair/rental shop, and an adjacent grocery store. He had a phone. I thought I could persuade him to pass a message when someone phoned. The next time I was at his store, I memorized the number written on the dial.

I phoned the newspaper office to enquire about the rates. My voice was not very masculine yet. I didn’t want to expose my identity as a teenager, so I gave a woman’s name. They said they could run an advertisement in the Madras edition, I was shocked to hear that a small slot, with onerous word limits, would cost sixty rupees. That would almost wipe out my entire savings, but it had to be done. The lady gave me a reference number to use when I sent in the request.

After some trials, I decided to go with something like this:

Vaxxy is looking for Krusty, who lived in IOB Colony, Mandirapuram, went to NHSS, and likes comics. Call phone number *** or reply to mailbox ***.”

Vaxxy was the secret nickname that Krishnan had given me. I had called him Krusty in return. If you had asked me I couldn’t have explained the reason for the secret names. It seemed to be the right thing to do.

I wiped out my piggybank, sent the money through a money-order and sent the message through an inland letter. I got a letter, saying my advertisement would be printed the following Monday.

The lady I had spoken to said that I could collect the mailbox responses in person, which would involve traveling to Madras. That didn’t seem feasible. But I promptly arranged to be at Karimbhai’s shop Monday morning. I could not summon the nerve to tell him that I used his phone number for the advertisement. I thought I could hang around for a few hours to see how things went. I stayed there for two hours, ostensibly to try out the rental bicycles, but no call came. I went home.

When I reached his shop the next morning, Karimbhai was seething. He was complaining to a customer that he had received dozens of calls the previous afternoon, asking for someone called Vaxxy. I rehearsed multiple lines in my head to tactfully explain the calls. In the end, I could not summon the courage. So I just let the matter drop. It would remain one of those eternal mysteries as far as Karimbhai was concerned.

The case of the Disappearing Lawyer

Now, about the interesting incident at the end of the summer. My grandfather used to sit on the thinnai, the seating area in front of the house to catch a breeze in the sultry evenings. One of those evenings, he was reading the newspaper. I was seated a few feet away, trying to repair a kite. I heard noises of a few men running and some yelling. I immediately peeked outside with interest. My grandfather, being hard of hearing, didn’t hear any of the noise, and was immersed in the news. A man came sprinting, pushed my grandfather aside, and ran inside the house. As he entered the house, he bolted the front door inside, locking us out. 

Three men who were in hot pursuit, rushed behind him and tried to push the door open. One of them had a crowbar, and tried to break the door open. Thankfully, the house had been built a century ago, with a heavy door designed to keep dacoits out. The blows dented the surface of the door, but didn’t cause any significant damage. 

The men talked to each other in a strange language and ran around, perhaps looking for a way to get to the back of the house. It was a row of houses that shared walls. They would have to go some hundred meters or so before getting a way to get to the back alley. It all happened fast. 

Neelamegam, the gossipy neighbour next door, came up to enquire after a few minutes. He said he knew man who entered the house. ‘His name is Seshan, you know! He’s a criminal lawyer with dubious connections. Nasty business, his!’ Lowering his voice, he added that the lawyer had been involved in shady money sharking deals and he, Neelamegam, wasn't surprised at the developments. He left, shaking his head and looking delighted at having a story to tell everyone for the next week or two.

My mom was alone in the house at the time. Just as I started to wonder about her safety, she opened the front door, looking confused. I entered the house and walked the length of the house, looking for the man. My mom said she heard footsteps running to the backyard but didn’t see anyone when she emerged from the kitchen. I went to the backyard. The bathroom was closed and locked from inside. For some strange reason, I didn’t feel fear. I was the man of the house, and it was my job to investigate.  I gently knocked on the door, and called out, ‘Lawyer sir, those men are gone. You can come out now!’. 

There was no response. I heard some noises that sounded like the shingles being removed, some rustling, some sound of shingles cracking under weight, and then it was all quiet. 

The shady lawyer had escaped through the roof.

Appa got word of the event, rushed home, and was relieved to find everyone safe. He called the police. Two poorly equipped, bored looking policemen came home and hung around for a while. We gathered around Appa and told him what we understood. All women from the neighbourhood came out to check on us and get the news firsthand. My mom was busy talking to all of them. From what I heard, she looked at it philosophically. Her belief was that nothing happens without a purpose. 

Seshan would play a significant event in my life later.

Pic credit: Meta AI

Story: Two Countries, Two Classrooms

Hypotenuse

Classroom 1: Mathematics


Teacher: We learnt about triangles in the last class. We’re going to learn about right angled triangles today. If one of the angles in the triangles is 90 degrees, the triangle gets some special properties. The side opposite the right angle is called the hypotenuse. The hypotenuse is always the longest side of the right angled triangle. There was a guy called Pythagoras. He came up with a formula. If you measure… 

Rahul: Why does the hypotenuse the longest? Why can’t it be the same size as the other sides?

Teacher: If all sides were the same, the triangle would become an equilateral one. We’ll learn about equilateral triangles in the next … 

Rahul: Why can’t all triangles be equilateral ones? 

Teacher: As you will see, right angle triangles have useful properties. 

Rahul: If I win the student union elections, I will conduct an X-rays of all properties, take some length from whatsitcalled - the hypotenuse. And give it to the shorter sides. (After talking in whispers to the boy next to him): Sam here tells me I should take away 55% from whatsitcalled. 

Teacher (amused): Won’t that make the hypotenuse smaller than the other sides? What about the difference in angles? 

Rahul: Then I will take some length or angle from those sides. It’s a continuous process. 

Teacher: This doesn’t make any sense. Can you listen now? I can answer your questions after the class. 

Rahul: I’m busy after class. I’m making a new story for the English class - The ant and the grasshopper. You know, the ant works hard all summer building up storage of food. The grasshopper sings all summer, doing no work. The winter comes and the ant … 

Teacher: ‘..tells the grasshopper, ‘you sang during the summer, go dance now?’ I know that story! 

Rahul: Not in my version. The lion king comes, takes the ant’s food store and redistributes it to the grasshopper. 

Teacher: That doesn’t sound fair. But this is not relevant for what we’re discussing here. Can you please stop distracting us? 

Rahul: I’m not going to stop. I’m a high school student, not some nachnewali like Aishwarya Rai. 

Teacher (raising her voice):  Rahul, I have a lesson to teach. Can you please not disrupt the class? 

Rahul: The class is a union of people. If you want to teach something, you come to me and say, ‘this is what I want to teach’. I say, ‘this is what I want to learn’. We discuss and come to an understanding. 

Teacher: That’s not how it works Rahul. 

Rahul walks out of the class, taking his friends with him, and blowing the teacher a flying kiss.


Classroom 2: Theater and Performing Arts


James Bond

The professor: As you know, in your culminating project, you have to make a short film. We’ll review your scripts before you start the rehearsals and filming. We will review the plans of Team A: Justin, Jagmeet and Chrystia. Justin, you go first. Do you have your script ready? What are you making?

Justin: Hello Prof! We’re making a short James Bond film.

Prof: How long is your film?

Justin: Fifteen minutes, give or take an hour.

Prof: Such a wide range! But I’m sure you have a good reason for the wide range. Can you explain your reasoning?

Justin: The length of the film is not important. Covid has made planning difficult. Students are starved for good entertainment. They won’t mind the extra time.

Prof: Covid was two years ago. Actually, the department is paying for it. They have a strict limit. Your budget is $3000. What is your estimate?

Justin: Actually, my teammate, Chrystia is in charge of production. She will give you the numbers.

Chrystia: Our estimate is $23,500.

Prof: That’s a significant overrun! What are your plans to cover the gap?

Chrystia: I plan to owe you the rest of the money.

Prof: That’s not a plan! And I doubt the university will accept any overruns. You don’t have time to replay - you’re expected to graduate in a few months. Provided you pass, of course. Ok, let’s leave that aside. Tell me the story.

Justin: My story happens during the cold war. A Canadian spy has gone rogue, and is threatening to blow up an airbase with a missile launched out of Russia. James Bond goes after him.

Jagmeet (interrupting): If he made a threat, I’m sure he had a good reason.

Prof: Can you please not interrupt Jagmeet? Justin, you were saying?

Justin: The spy is hiding in Russia, plotting his mission. James Bond finds him and talks to him.

Prof: But Bond is licensed to kill. Can’t he do something … more impactful than just  talking?

Justin: No, he can’t. In the first scene, the prime minister talks to him and reiterates the importance of the rule of law and the international rules-based order. 

Jagmeet: And to put pressure on Russia, his friends in Canada drive around with bumper stickers, saying ‘No airbase, no transport!’

Chrystia: All those friends should be Ukranians. Actually, all the good guys in the films are Ukranians.

Jagmeet: And all the bad guys are grocery store bosses. 

Justin: That’s not what we talked about!

Jagmeet: We didn’t talk about this, but I never bought into the plot. Your story is terrible. Boo!

Prof: If you didn’t like the plot, why did you choose to join this team?

Jagmeet: I’m always for the hard-working students. They want me to hold this team accountable. 

Prof: But you’re all individually marked on this. Are you planning on doing anything?

Jagmeet: Yes, there was a genocide a few decades ago, in another part of the world. I’m raising awareness. 

Prof: I was asking what you’re doing in this short film project.

Jagmeet: Yes, I’m raising awareness. 

Prof (sighing): Let’s leave that aside. How does the story end?

Justin: That’s the best part. The scientist who designed the missile is the bad guy’s girlfriend. She has a crush on Bond. She offers to redirect the missile to an unpopulated area if Bond accepts her indecent proposal.

Prof: Oh, we’re pivoting to the romance theme! How interesting!

Justin: No, wait. Now comes the best part. Bond self identifies as a woman and declines her proposal.

The professor faints.

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