Prelude (3rd century CE, Madurai)
Nedunchezhiyan, the Pandya king, wrongfully sentences Kovalan, a trader, to death. The Sengol, the royal sceptre, bends out of shape due to this miscarriage of justice. Literally bends. This becomes part of folklore.
Subsequent rulers behave, fearing the Sengol. The Sengol gets spoiled, and gets more easily offended with time. When it starts cramping their style, the rulers get it out of the way, as if it's Subramanyam Swamy. The Sengol lies in wait for centuries, nursing its petulance.
The First Act: (2023, New Delhi)
It’s a typical south Indian household in Delhi. The early morning smells of filter coffee and coconut chutney tease the senses.
A lady with scholarly looks is furiously scribbling on a notepad. A younger member of her family enters the room. ‘Nimmi aunty, sorry to bother you. There is a phone call for you on the landline!’.
The lady shows great urgency and grabs the instrument. There is only one person who could phone at this hour - the wise old leader!
‘Good morning Sir! I was about to phone you’.
‘Good morning Nimmi-ji! I was trying to call your mobile number!’.
‘Sorry sir. Every time I’m about to help you with a Thirukkural suggestion, the SIM card on my mobile phone mysteriously disappears!’.
‘That is odd! Do you have any suspects?’
A face briefly peeks through the curtains as M S Asokan’s does in MGR movies. It vanishes as quickly as it appears.
‘Yes there is one. I’ll tell you later!’.
An understanding silence at the other end. ‘Nimmi-ji! I don’t want to intrude in your domestic matters, but considering the situation, I want to offer a suggestion. I’m single myself, but I’ve heard my married colleagues use the expression ‘dog-house’. You may want to consider it.’
‘Dog house, Cow-shed.. I’ve tried everything. No luck so far. But I know what to do. Leave it with me!’
The chill in her voice seems to unnerve the wise old leader. After an awkward pause, he says ‘hm.. We don’t have much time. Do you have any suggestions?’
The lady, brightening, answers, ‘Yes sir - I have the perfect one!
கொடையளி செங்கோல் குடியோம்பல் நான்கும்
உடையானாம் வேந்தர்க் கொளி.’
‘Kodai… what!?’
‘I can repeat it slowly to your secretary so he can write it down. What’s important here is that it is Thirukkural. And here’s the meaning: charity, empathy, governance and care for the weaker people is what brings glory to a leader’.
‘Amazing how he wrote about me all those years ago. No wonder he's so famous. Thank you very much. I’ve sent you a gift to show my gratitude.’, says the wise old leader before hanging up.
‘I think I know what it is’, thinks the lady looking at a pile of framed pictures of the wise old leader.
End of scene 1.
What happens in the next few hours is scarcely believable. The wise old leader cites the Thirukkural taught to him after picking up the Sengol. The Sengol, being as sensitive as Moaning Myrtle, dislikes his diction and bends like one of Jayalalithaa's underlings.
The events of the next few months are even more incredible. The story of the bent Sengol leaks out. In the lead up to the Lok Sabha elections, the young prince, the political opponent of the wise old leader, walks around the country and delivers his election campaign message: “The Sengol has pronounced the verdict. Just like it did in Silappathikaram. The wise old leader is corrupt.”
The public laps the theory up. The young prince’s party wins by a landslide.
The Second Act: (2024. A meeting room in Delhi)
The matriarch is heading an emergency meeting. The young prince is seated near her, looking at his phone. The matriarch mutters something to him. He looks up, with an uncomprehending look.
‘Quale il Padre, Tale il Figlio’, she mutters with an irate expression and turns to the rest of the group.
Tashi Shuroor bursts into the room, sits down with a big smile. ‘I had to pose for a few selfies along the way, lost track of time! Celebrity is as celebrity does, as you know!’.
The matriarch glares at him and begins: ‘Gentlemen, we have a problem. While we were debating who the prime minister should be, my young prince here jumped the gun, went to the Parliament building and picked up the Sengol. It has twisted itself to an odd shape."
Tashi Shuroor asks, 'Odd shape? Odder than it assumed at the wise old leader's touch?'
'Much worse! Now it looks like a pretzel’.
The prince, brightening, says, ‘These pretzels are making me thirsty!’. And starts giggling uncontrollably.
The matriarch looks exasperated. ‘Now, which genius suggested that we should play Seinfeld to him as a distraction from Chota Bheem?’
No one speaks, but Pam Sitroda looks away, avoiding any eye contact.
The matriarch resumes, ‘So, I’m asking for your suggestions for handling this. It will be a PR nightmare if this gets out’.
Tashi Shuroor smiles, adjusts his hair and says: ‘Jurisprudence alleviates the need to meliorate…’
MK Lenin interrupts: ‘Ma’m, did you say Sengol, or sengal? If it’s the latter, my son may be able to help’
Pam Sitroda: ‘It’s Sengol. I have a suggestion - we could say it’s the pegasus software on his phone that offended the Sengol. Sengol can sense spyware - like a sneakoscope’.
M K Lenin opens his mouth, then realizes he doesn’t know what a sneakoscope is, and wasn’t given notes on the topic. Goes silent again.
Matriarch: ‘That won’t work. Sounds weak. Further, we will then be giving an excuse for the Sengol bending for the wise old leader too. This is a conundrum. How I wish I were able to consult Beerendra Dharmachari. My mother-in-law used to call him the ultimate troubleshooter!’.
MKL: ‘In my state, they tie stones to snake gourds. It makes them grow straight. I wonder if we can use that idea’.
The matriarch rolls her eyes in spirit, but maintains a poker face. Shivaji Ganesan would have been proud of her.
A soft snore emanates from the young prince. Everyone notices it, but pretends not to.
In the young prince’s dream, he is walking along a platform in the Hazrat Nizamuddin Train Station. An old man with a long, flowing beard walks along. ‘Is this Beerendra Dharmachari?’, he wonders. 'Am I dreaming? Or is this real?’
BD (reading his mind): ‘It’s happening in your dream, prince. But why on earth should that mean it’s not real?’
The young prince gives him a confused look.
BD: 'Young prince, this is an issue that has vexed emperors for several centuries. The only way to prevent the Sengol from bending is to be fearless and fair as a ruler.'
YP: 'I’m not afraid of the wise old leader.'
BD: 'That leaves fairness.'
YP: 'Fairness is just a state of mind. You have to change the paradigm.'
BD: 'I don’t know what that means.'
YP: 'Listen! About that Sengol. Now that it is bent, is there a way to straighten it?'
BD: 'Perhaps. But first. you should know the history of the Sengol. 28 Sengols were made for the states, three for the judiciary and one to rule them all.'
YP: 'So, this is the one that rules them all?'
BD: 'Yes!'
YP: 'So, India is just a union of Sengols!'
BD: 'I don’t know what that means. But saying that will start a debate and distract people from the bent Sengol.'
YP: 'Is there a way to minimize the power of the Sengol? Can I go on a world tour and deliver lectures on how it kills democracy?'
BD: 'No, that won't work. The Central Sengol was minted in the fires of Mount Kolar. You have to return it to those fires to destroy it. That is your best bet.'
YP: 'Destroying the Central Sengol will give the state Sengols more power. Won't it?'
BD: 'Yes! And the judiciary Sengols too!'
They walk in silence for a few minutes.
BD: 'It’s time. When you wake up, remember that help will always be given in Delhi to those who ask for it. And follow the cockroaches!'
YP wakes up in agitation. ‘Why should I follow the cockroaches? Why not the butterflies?’
Everyone looks at him, confused.
YP: ‘I have decided. I’m going to return the Sengol to the fires of Mount Kolar to destroy it. It's gotta be done to save democracy. I'm going to walk!’
TS: ‘This is the Sceptre Todo Yatra, then?’
No one laughs. Everyone looks at the matriarch, who is stone-faced.
The young prince stumbles as he tries to stand up. Dreaming always made him unsteady.
Bhayram Jamesh catches him, and proclaims, ‘I can’t carry the Sengol to Kolar for you, but I can carry you to Kolar’.
The End!
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